Hiding out

September 5, 2010
It is Sunday morning and I am hiding out under my mosquito net. My room becomes illuminated through the curtain by the sunrise around 6:30 am or so, and it is a delightful way to wake up. I have been waking up before or at 7 am every morning and going out to hang with the family. Today, I decided to spend more time to myself. I have been feeling a little threatened by Ndahafa lately and I do not know why. I think I have been identifying with my little brother a little too much and have been a bit resentful. When I view her from his perspective, I see her as totalitarian. She is not really involved in his life and is very critical of him. Yesterday he was sitting with his legs crossed and she yelled at him. She was like, “I don’t like when he sits like that. That is how gay people sit. It is a secret language they use.” I feel like my views are being challenged everyday and it is hard to always be disagreeing with someone when you live in the same house. I have been avoiding any tension with her, but I feel that my evasiveness has been building up inside of me. I am not one to really hold my tongue, as many of you may know, so I am feeling the pang of repressed energy becoming evident.
What I really should be focusing on is who she is from my perspective. She is a warm, kind person, who gave up one of her two bedrooms, her home, and her food for me. She is interested in me and is supportive. Although she preaches to me often, I believe it is out of the goodness of her heart. She is very serious about her religion and she just wants to share it. Also, she is giving me exposure to the widespread viewpoints of many Namibians, whether it be homophobia, corporal punishment, gender role conflict, or witchcraft and spiritual warfare.

Other than that, yesterday we had a cultural food day celebration. All the host families were invited and all of our trainers were there. We had different foods from all different cultures such as Oshiwombo, KKG, Otjiherero, and Afrikaans. It was very interesting to say the least. Three of my friends killed chickens by standing on their wings with their feet, pulling up its neck, and decapitating it. Fresh free range, organic chicken! We cooked outside on open fires surrounded by rocks to hold up the pots. There was chicken, mutton, beef, goat and fish. There were different types of bread and porridge. Also we ate some caterpillars, which is a part of the Oshiwombo (which is Oshindonga speaking and Oshikwanyama speaking) culture, so I should be eating some of that in the future. Honestly, I can handle the caterpillars (which they call worms) easier than the mutton. It was a great celebration, because my host mom and her friend came and many were dressed in traditional outfits (including my mom, Ndahafa). We kicked around a soccer ball and everyone was impressed by my (lack of) skills. Haha The Namibians were like, “Wow you play like a boy.” I’m thinking, you should see some of my friends play.

Afterwards, about 15 of us went to a restaurant nearby, hung out and watched the South African Rugby game. I felt like I was watching Invictus in New Baltimore, but instead I am actually in Africa watching South African rugby. Then I came home and Itana (my brother) was with his two friends who only speak Afrikaans, and he actually asked me to play cards! That was such a good feeling for me. So I got my cards and we were playing. Then Ndahafa called me to go hang out with her so I had to kind of quit. Then we watched Mighty Joe Young and I made two batches of popcorn for everyone. I made it the other night out of the pan and put butter and salt on it. I thought it was good but I asked Itana to check. He was like, “Sugar.” I was like, what? And he got out confectioner’s sugar. We sprinkled that on it too and it turns out that it is pretty awesome. Ndahafa was loving it last night so I made another batch. She is all excited because we were mixing the salty and the sweet, which she said was very fine. Small victories.